But Thy Kisses, Bring Again
by pandorabox82
Summary: Erin Strauss has never had an impulsive bone in her body, until the day her divorce in finalized, that is. Will finding an unexpected ally like Spencer Reid help her to come out of her shell, or make her a bigger Ice Queen? For Monnie.
1. Red

Erin tried to covertly adjust her breasts in her blouse. She'd forgone her traditional, cover-everything-up, bra in favor of the naughty shelf bra, since it wouldn't irritate her nipple so. Once again that morning, she regretted the foolish impulsivity that had driven her to get that dratted piercing the moment the ink dried on the divorce decree. The only good thing about that night had been the low whistle of appreciation from the piercer and the way he had eyed her breasts hungrily.

Now, though, back to work after a long weekend of rest and toplessness, she felt foolish. "I should never have done this," she whispered as she waited for the elevator to appear.

"Done what?" Inwardly, she groaned, recognizing Dr. Reid's inquisitive voice. He would be on her like a dog with a bone, not letting go until he had his satisfaction. "Ma'am? Is everything okay?"

"I'm fine, Dr. Reid. I just got in a row with my ex-husband last night. Making him upset is the last thing I need to do right now," she replied, hoping he'd believe the lie. From the corner of her eye, she saw him purse his lips before bobbing his head. Thankfully, the elevator doors opened and she stepped inside, pressing the six button before moving to the back, tapping her foot.

"So, this might be a little forward, Erin, but your piercing is bleeding a little."

She gasped and looked down at her chest, seeing the dots of blood on her blouse. "Dammit."

"Do you want me to help you take care of it? Mine did the same thing when I first got it done," he said lowly. She nodded gratefully, blushing to the roots of her hair.

"Thank you, Dr. Reid," she finally responded as they got off on their floor. He steered her towards the bullpen and she blanched a little. "I can't do that in there," she said frantically.

"Garcia's office is the only place with no windows or cameras on this floor. We'll kick her out while I take care of you."

"But she'll know something is up!"

"Probably, but neither of us will say anything to her. It will be fine." He tugged on her arm a little more forcefully and she stumbled after him, trying to hold her jacket closed over her breasts. Thankfully, most everyone had their heads buried in their work and took no notice of her passing among them. Dr. Reid didn't even knock on Ms. Garcia's door, he just barged in.

"Can I help y – oh, Chief Strauss! What can I do for you?" the younger woman asked, trying to focus on a spot somewhere above her shoulder.

"Garcia, we need to use your office for about fifteen minutes. Go distract Rossi and Hotch, okay?" She nodded dumbly at Dr. Reid and fairly flew out of the room. He locked the door and Erin gulped. "Why don't you sit on the sofa while I dig out the alcohol and bandages."

She moved over to the couch and sank down. "Why does Ms. Garcia keep bandages in her office?"

"When she's working on Persephone, she sometimes gets cut on different components," he answered absently as he pawed through a small box, pulling out gauze pads, a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and two bandages. "All right, could you take your blouse off?"

Erin looked away from him as she fumbled with the buttons on her shirt. When the last one was undone, she shrugged out of both jacket and blouse. "Would you make this quick, Dr. Reid? Before I die of embarrassment?"

He nodded and opened the rubbing alcohol, turning it over on the gauze pad and letting it soak for a few seconds. "This is going to hurt, Erin. I'm sorry." He gently washed her nipple free of the red blood staining it. She hissed in pain and leaned into him. "And a kiss to make it better," he whispered, bending his head to softly kiss the tender flesh.

There was nothing sexual about the sweet kiss, and for that she was grateful. Even though it was a huge breach of etiquette, she was grateful for the kindness, quick tears prickling her eyes. With the same amount of care, he placed the bandages over her nipple, his touch so soft. "Thank you, Spencer."

"You're welcome, Erin," he replied as he pulled her shirt back up, buttoning it quickly. They locked eyes and she saw a flicker of desire there that he tried to mask. She closed her eyes and lifted her face oh so slightly. Spencer too the invitation and covered her lips with his, kissing her gently.

"I'm sorry, that was inappropriate of me," she said breathlessly once they'd broken the kiss.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, Erin. It was just a temporary seeking of comfort. We all need that at times." She nodded and stood up, pulling her jacket around her body once more. "I'm glad I could help you out."

"I'm glad as well." Sighing, she picked up her briefcase and purse and exited the room. Ms. Garcia was in Agent Hotchner's office, animatedly explaining something. They met eyes and she gave the other woman a small smile.

Once safely ensconced in her office, Erin let herself cry. He had been so tender with her, even when she had never given him cause to be. Shaking her head, she opened her briefcase and took out the files she had to finish.

As the day progressed, she found herself unable to concentrate on her work. All she could focus on was the feel of his lips on her breast. Which was preposterous, he was half her age, her subordinate, yet… At five, she shut down her computer, packed up her work, and went home, needing to get herself off.

Erin had to pass by the bullpen on her way to the elevators and they looked at each other at the same time. Her breath caught and she felt the blush return as his gaze slipped down to her breasts. Turning, she pressed the down button on the elevator and waited. Erin felt him come up behind her moments later, but she refused to look.

"Headed home already?" She nodded. "Be careful taking the bandages off. They might pull on the ring and make your nipple bleed again. But you need to let it get some air, okay?"

"Yes, Dr. Ried."

"I prefer Spencer," he said lowly as the doors opened. Erin stepped inside the safety of the elevator car, pressing the B button and then closing the doors on him. She did not like where the conversation had been leading, did not like the can of worms his kindness had opened up.

By the time she got home, Erin was tired and wanted nothing more than to eat supper, masturbate, and fall asleep in her bed. Slipping out of her heels and putting on the fuzzy frog slippers her daughter had left behind, she padded into the kitchen, pulling out some chicken breasts and the bbq sauce from the fridge.

Turning the oven on preheat, she lined a pan with tinfoil and then put the chicken in, smothering it with the bbq sauce. "This needs cheese," she said aloud, smiling slightly as she went back to the fridge and pulled out a bag of shredded cheddar. As she was sprinkling it over the chicken, her doorbell rang and she went to the door, looking out.

Dr. Reid was standing there on her doorstep, bouncing back and forth on his feet. She yanked open the door and stared at him "Hi," he said somewhat sheepishly and she narrowed her eyes, frowning slightly at him.

"How did you find my address?" she hissed, pulling him inside before someone on the block took notice of her visitor.

"I looked it up," he replied as he stepped out of his loafers.

"And why are you here?" She stalked into the kitchen, knowing he would follow her.

"I don't know. Okay, that might be a lie," he squeaked out when she whirled around to glare at him. "I want to know the story of your piercing."

She sighed and put the chicken in the oven, setting the timer for thirty minutes. She pulled out two glasses from the cupboard next to the sink and filled them with water. _This isn't happening,_ she thought as she handed him a glass. "Let's head into the living room."

Once again, she just expected him to follow her as she made her way to the other room. "Why you nipple?" he asked as he sat next to her on the sofa.

"You don't hold back, do you, Spencer?" He smiled ruefully at her and she shook her head. "Fine. I've never done anything truly impulsive in my life. I've had everything planned for my future by the time I entered kindergarten. Alcoholism wasn't planned, per se, but it also wasn't impulsive. Alan couldn't handle my drinking and neither could I, obviously."

"Addictions are hard."

"I know, now. So, when the divorce was finalized Thursday, I decided to be impulsive. A nipple piercing sounded safest, out of all my options." Erin sipped at her water. "Besides, a clitoral hood piercing sounded really painful."

Spencer choked on his water and she giggled lowly. "I've heard storied of women who've gotten them and had almost continuous orgasms." It was her turn to choke on her water and she looked him in the eye.

"I think it is high time I let my piercing air out," she said, feeling unwanted desire pool in her stomach once more. Spencer nodded and she slid off her suit jacket. Feeling his eyes on her, she slowly unbuttoned her blouse. His hands reached out to peel the shirt off her and she struggled not to shiver or moan as his knuckles brushed against her too sensitive breasts. "Would you take off the bandages, Spencer?"

Erin arched her back towards him, waiting for him to make a move. He cupped her breast with one hand, using his other to peel off the bandages delicately. They tugged at her skin and she moaned lowly, feeling her muscles clench at the feeling. "Am I hurting you, Erin?"

'No, not really," she murmured as the second bandage came away.

"Good." He pushed her back on the sofa, kissing her once more. "I've been thinking about doing that since this morning. Don't ask me why, either, I can't explain it. Just knowing you were like me, in two ways, set something off in me. I'm usually not impulsive either, so this is outside my comfort zone."

"Mine, too," she whimpered out as he cupped her breast, running his thumb over the nipple, tightening it instantly. "I'm afraid this will have to wait until after supper, though."

"Are you sure?" he asked, squeezing her breast gently.

"Y-yes. I have to watch my blood sugar a little, now that I don't drink. It crashes at the weirdest times."

"I understand." He kissed her hard and then helped her to sit up. "So, do you think this is insane?"

"No. Like you, I know we're similarly marked." She took a deep breath. "Though we are treading on precariously thin ice. One word about this to anyone could both our careers. You have your glorious intelligence to fall back on, but I have nothing." She felt her throat close up as the realization of the truth hit her.

"I've long been the secret keeper for our team, Erin. I'm certain I can be discreet." She nodded, blinking back her tears. Cradling her face, Spencer rubbed his thumb against her cheekbone. "Trust me."

"I'm going to try." She turned her head so that she could nuzzle her nose into his palm, breathing in his scent.

"I never said thank you, you know."  
"For what?"

"For fighting to keep us together, even if I wasn't sure I wanted to be part of the BAU any longer."

"Ah." She curled up into him, letting him wrap an arm around her shoulders. It felt so nice to be held, Alan hadn't done that for years. Spencer began to hum lowly and she found herself drawn into a magical web, entranced by the sound of his voice. "Don't stop, Spencer. Please."

"All right," he whispered before continuing his song. Her tears tracked down her face, though she didn't know their source. She felt overwhelmed by emotion and snuggled closer to him. They stayed like that until she heard the buzzer on the oven go off, and then she uncurled her body to stand up.

"Are you hungry, Spencer?" Erin asked, holding out her hand.

"Famished." Once more, she felt herself blush at the look he gave her. "You're too easy to tease, Erin. I wouldn't have expected that." Erin shrugged and began to head to the kitchen. He caught up to her and settled his arm around her hips. "If I'm not mistaken, I smell bbq chicken."

"It sounded good when I got home." He nodded and pulled open the oven, using the mitt to take out the pan while she got plates from the cupboard. Setting them on the table, she found the necessary utensils, handing Spencer a spatula. "There's not anything to go with it, since I don't get hungry as much anymore."

"I don't eat much anymore, either. I think it may be one of the side effects of post-addiction life." He smiled sadly at her. "Another thing we have in common."

"Wonderful." She sat at the table and he set the pan down, portioning out a piece of chicken onto her plate before serving himself. "How's your mother doing?"

He sat down and cut into his chicken. "She's okay. The medications she's on don't work as well anymore, though, so she's more vulnerable to paranoia. I'm so glad I'm here, Erin. I couldn't deal with having her close by, seeing the slow deterioration. It breaks my heart now, as it is."

"Have you talked to anyone about your feelings?"

"My NA group. I can't talk to anyone on the team, not since Jayje broke my trust. I've smoothed things over with them, don't get me wrong. I just can't talk to them any longer."

She nodded sadly and tucked into her food. "I hope you find someone you trust who you can confide in."

"I think I might have." Erin looked up at him in surprise. "If you can trust me enough to take care of you today like I did, I think I can trust you with my secrets."

Erin smiled a little, and then looked down at her food. A warm flicker of affection rose up in her breast at the idea of being trusted once more. "Spencer, thank you." He leaned over and kissed her cheek softly. She could feel the stickiness of bbq sauce on her cheek and struggled not to wipe it off.

"Here, let me take care of that," he softly said, dipping his finger in his water glass before rubbing it across her cheek, taking care of the spot. They finished eating in silence; though she felt the looks they exchanged spoke volumes. When their plates were empty, she opened the dishwasher and he loaded the dished inside. "Do you want me to let this run during the night?"

"No, I'll do it in the morning after breakfast. There's not many dishes when there's just one person." He nodded and shut the door, holding out his hand to her. She took it and led him upstairs to her room. She sat on her bed, suddenly feeling quite nervous, and looked up at him. "I, I haven't done anything like this since college."

"Neither have I." He sat next to her and she turned to face him, reaching up to unhook her bra. He made quick work of his own shirt and she reached out to tug gently on the golden ring in his right nipple. He groaned lowly and gently pulled her back to lie on the bed. His skin was so smooth against hers and she once more felt her core clench tightly.

"I don't think I want slow tonight, Spencer."

"Good, because I don't think I can go slowly." He rolled on top of her, kissing her deeply as he searched for the zipper on her skirt. While he did that, she undid his belt and then unzipped his pants, pushing them and his boxers off his slim hips. "Could you help me out here, Erin?" he asked as he broke the kiss.

She nodded and reached behind her back to tug down the zipper on her skirt, shimmying out of it. He stripped her panties off and she parted her legs for him. He palmed her core and she whimpered, arching her hips up to meet him. Please," she cried out and he nodded, entering her with one smooth motion.

He felt heavenly, all wiry muscle and fluid grace. They made no noise in their coupling, and she could hear their breathing, harsh, ragged, and in sync. "I'm close," he finally whispered and she nodded, reaching between them to circle and rub her clit, pushing her body closer to orgasm.

Unable to remain quiet any longer, she moaned loudly as she came, collapsing back on the mattress. "That was wonderful, Spencer." He kissed her forehead and she smiled, snuggling close to his body heat. "If you want, you can leave after I fall asleep."

"Or I can stay. I make a pretty good waffle." The warm, tender, feeling blossomed in her chest once more and she sighed. "I'll take that as a yes." She nodded and he closed an arm around her as he used the other to pull the sheet up over their bodies. "Go to sleep, Erin." As she let her eyes close, he once more kissed her, on the forehead this time, and she smiled, deciding to take the moment for all the sweet worth it gave her.


	2. If Only I Could Make You Mine

Erin Strauss was not one to moon over boys, and yet that was exactly what she found herself doing Wednesday morning. The day before, Spencer had woken her up to breakfast in bed, and proven that he did make a pretty good waffle. Since then, she couldn't get him off her mind. "If only I could make you mine," she whispered longingly, staring at her computer screen.

"Excuse me, Chief Strauss?" She looked up at Helen and nodded. "These just came for you." It was then Erin noticed the bouquet of tulips in her hands. "Where do you want them?"

"On my desk is fine." The woman nodded and set them on the corner of her desk before retreating. Erin pulled out the card and read aloud: "Cytherea, you sweet, blessed lady, who with your fire-brand subdues whomsoever you wish, and sends me this dream, be my helper in this, for you are best able!" With the words, she knew who the flowers were from and she sighed happily.

Calling up her planner, she saw that Alpha was in Portland today, and it was only seven in the morning there. Throwing caution to the wind, she pulled out her personal cellphone and called him. "Good morning, E. Did you get them?"

"Yes, they're lovely. E?"

"Uh huh. I need to call you something when I'm around the others, so I thought this would fit. You don't mind, do you?"

"Not really, no. But if you want to ignore the tragic connotations, you can call me Heloise. Since we have to keep things on the down low for now."

"I hope you know I would treat you better than Abelard. How's the piercing this morning?"

"It feels a lot better. I put bandages on again, that really seemed to help yesterday, and Monday. Is it odd to say I missed you? I know we only had sex, but I miss you…"

"I miss you, too," he interrupted in a rush. "It's crazy, isn't it? But I don't care. Being with you, I felt more alive than I have in years. If only I could make you mine."

Hearing her earlier words come from his lips, she smiled gently. "I think you have, Spencer, if that's what you want." She held her breath, suddenly nervous for his answer.

"I do, Heloise." A shiver of desire swept over her body at his answer. "If I call tonight, may I listen to you masturbate?"

"Yes." Her response was breathless and she felt herself quickly become wet at the thought. "Oh god, yes, Abelard."

"Excellent. It will probably be about midnight, your time."

"I'll be waiting for you," she replied, feeling deliciously naughty.

"Good. I should probably go. Morgan's starting to stir. Until tonight, my sweet Heloise."

"Tonight," she murmured in response, hanging up with him. This was so very foolish, yet it felt so right, so good. After being in control for so long, it was nice to give that control over to someone else, someone who understood her completely.

For the rest of the day, she went through the motions of work, bypassing going out for lunch in order to leave early. Helen knew she was distracted and tried to help her out as much as she could. "Have a good evening, Erin," she said softly as Erin locked her office door, the tulips in her arm.

"You, too, Helen." She made her way to the elevators and waited. She was impatient, knowing her release wouldn't come for hours yet. She rode down to the parking garage with a number of other people and was never more grateful to disappear into a crowd.

Needing to distract herself from the coming phone call, she turned her radio on to the classical station, increasing the volume until it drowned out her thoughts. Finally, she pulled into her garage and just sat behind the wheel, listening to the Holst piece. When it had finished, she turned her car off and went inside.

Going into the kitchen, she set her tulips down on the table and pulled out leftovers from the fridge. Sticking the bowl in the microwave, she set the timer for three minutes, letting it reheat while she poured herself a glass of milk. She took a long sip before refilling it and setting it next to the tulips.

The timer went off and she opened the microwave, taking out the steaming food. It smelled delicious and she set the bowl down before taking a seat. Erin couldn't keep her eyes off the tulips as she ate, wondering what Spencer was up to at the moment. When she had finished, she stuck the bowl in the dishwasher and started it before heading to the living room.

Erin curled up on the couch, turning the television on to AMC. They were in the middle of showing _Key Largo_ and she sighed happily. When the movie was over, they played _Casablanca_. Quickly becoming engrossed, she hardly heard the doorbell ring. Finally recognizing the sound, she stood up and wobbly made her way to the door.

Looking out the window, she saw Spencer standing there, and she smiled widely as she unlocked the door for him. "Spencer, come in! They're just finishing Casablanca!" She locked the door once more and tugged him into the living room. He sat next to her on the sofa and she curled up into him, turning her focus back on the screen. "I love this movie."

He understood her unspoken request and didn't say a word until the end credits rolled. "We resolved the case sooner than expected. The others went out to the bar, but I didn't feel in the mood for that. I had far more pleasant pursuits in mind." Spencer dragged his hand up her body to cup her breast, gently thumbing the nipple. She arched into the touch, her body instantly reacting to him.

"Do you still want to listen to me?" she asked, reveling in the feel of his hand slipping beneath the waistband of her skirt and panties to stroke her mound.

"More than that. I want to watch you." She nodded against his chest and he removed his hands. She whimpered at the removal and listened to him chuckle.

Standing, Erin held out her hand to him, tugging him up. She noticed the go bag in his hand and smiled. "That confident you're going to stay the night?"

"Yes." He pulled her close to him and kissed her hungrily, possessively. She melted into the masterful kiss, feeling her knees grow a bit weak as the embrace lingered on. "Are you planning on turning me away?"

"No." She began the trek upstairs, feeling like her legs would give out at any moment as she climbed. Somehow, she made it to her room and she sat heavily on the bed.

His fingers made short work of the buttons on her blouse, slipping it off her shoulders while she undid the buttons on his shirt. As her fingers fumbled with his belt buckle, he unhooked her bra, tugging it off her body. As she dragged his pants and boxers down his legs, she found him hard already. She reached out to caress him, only for him to stop her. "No."

"Why?"

"I want to see you cum first." She nodded and unzipped her skirt, lifting her hips so that he could finish undressing her. "Do you use just your fingers, or do you use any toys?"

"Usually just my fingers. I have a dildo, but I prefer the feel of skin on skin." He nodded and she scooted back on the bed, arranging the pillows to support her in a more reclining position. "I start with my breasts, they're usually so responsive to my touch. Or anyone's, really."

Erin cupped her breasts, feeling the bandages still on her left nipple. She peeled them off, noticing the accompanying tug at her core. He took them from her hand and threw them away before sitting next to her on the bed, watching her. She pinched her nipples lightly before massaging the heavy globes. She could hear his breathing become unsteady and she smiled. Leaving one hand on her right breast, she trailed the other down her stomach, stopping at her mound.

Locking eyes with Spencer, she gently parted her folds, feeling how wet she already was, Biting her lip, she thumbed her clitoris, her hips rolling up into her hand. Once her fingers were coated in her juices, she inserted two into her tight channel. Erin let her eyes close heavily as she added another finger and began to pump them in and out, ramping the pleasure up in her body. "Spencer," she lowly moaned, seeing him in her mind's eye.

The pleasure just seemed to build as she knew he was watching her get off to the thought of him. Her inner muscles clamped around her fingers, drawing her deeper in. And then she felt it, her zenith, and she let herself go, wailing his name as she came.

Opening her eyes to look at him once more, she was met with the reflection of her desire. "That was so amazing, Erin. None of my other girlfriends have felt free enough to do that in front of me." Erin smiled at the way he labeled her as his and reached out for him. Clasping her hand tightly, he brought it to his lips, sucking the juices off.

She couldn't stop her moan and she watched him smile around her fingers. "Spencer, please," she whimpered and he nodded, stretching out his body along hers. He kissed her, softly and gently, and she wrapped an arm around his waist. "Mine?" she asked when they'd broken the kiss.

"Mine.," he responded possessively, gripping her hip tightly. She hissed in pained pleasure, listening to him chuckle lowly. "Do you like a little pain?"

"Sometimes. It reminds me I'm alive. But will you make love to me now? I want to feel you in side me."

Spencer nodded and kissed her once more as he fitted himself between her thighs. Erin sighed against his lips as he thrust into her pliant body. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she drew him in deeper, angling her hips so that he filled her more completely. "Erin, I'm going to cum. Do you mind?"

"No, I've had my orgasm already." She clamped down on him, and he groaned as his hips jerked into her. She felt him explode into her and she relaxed her body, savoring his release.

Spencer made no move to withdraw from her body, instead resting his comforting weight on top of her body. Erin ran her fingers through his hair. "You're wonderful, Erin. So soft, so lovely." He punctuated his words with kisses to her face and she felt herself tearing up. "What's wrong?"

"I think I'm waiting for me to wake up from this really wonderful dream. It doesn't seem possible that someone like you would want to be with someone like me. I don't know why, but I want so badly for you to be mine. I'm possessive, short-tempered, and easily hurt, so I've learned to guard certain parts of my heart."

"And I've managed to worm my way past those defenses." She nodded. "I'm actually a lot like you. Easily hurt, possessive, but I'm slow to anger most times." The first tear slipped down her cheek and he wiped it away. "But one thing I know is you are going to be mine."

Erin kissed him softly, letting her tears come. Spencer rolled them onto their sides, rubbing her back gently. "Talk to me?"

"About what, Erin?"

"Anything. I want to know more about you and I'm not tired yet."

"Okay." He took a deep breath and stared into her eyes. She loved the intimate contact, even if it did make her feel like she was going to cry again. "When Emily 'died' I thought I'd fall off the wagon. The cravings were so intense. I talked to my sponsor about it, but never revealed how close I was. I had actually bought a vial of Dialaudid."

"Spencer," she murmured, splaying her hand out on his back.

"I know. I threw it in JJ's face, though, once Emily returned to us. In a fit of anger, I broke her heart, and it felt good. We've never really gotten back to the place we once were."

"You can never really rebuild a relationship to where it once was. The past colors everything." He nodded and pulled her ever closer to his body. "Sometimes, though, we become stronger at the broken spots."

"I can hear the experience in your voice." He kissed her cheek tenderly. "I wanted to send you orchids, but they weren't in stock at the florist I called."

"I love orchids."

"I figured you would."

"But I love irises the most." He furrowed his brow, obviously trying to figure out what she meant. "And yes, I know they were named after the Greek goddess of the rainbow. You're not the only one who knows completely esoteric things."

"What did you major in?"

"Psychology. I had a minor in English Literature, though. And a voracious appetite for books."

"We'll have to compare notes."

"I'd rather learn as we go along, if you don't mind."

He nodded and hugged her close. "That sounds good to me, too. Do you have a favorite book, though?"

"Yes. _The Pillars of the Earth_."

"That surprises me. I would have thought it was something like _Murder on the Orient Express_ or _Smiley's People_."

"Those are good choices, too. Have you read _House of Leaves_?"

"No, I haven't. Is it any good?"

"I rather enjoyed it. It's very post-modern in construction, with lots of footnotes and allusions to Greek mythology. My youngest read it in her AP English course last year for extra credit. It kind of freaked her out a little, so she refused to read it without me."

"Did you read it aloud together?"

"Uh huh," she replied, smiling at the memory. "I felt like I was fifteen years younger, reading to my baby again."

"I loved when my mother read to me. It's one of the things I miss the most, truth be told."

Erin reached up and caressed her lover's face. "What else did your mother teach you?"

"When to know the right person finds you. Mom never stopped loving my dad, he was always the one. He just couldn't cope with her illness." He leaned in to kiss her and she returned the kiss sweetly. "Erin, you know the implications of me claiming you?" She nodded. "What are we going to do about work, then?"

"I don't know, Spencer. This is happening so quickly. For once, though, quick is something good." He nodded and she snuggled into him, wanting to shut out the real world for just a moment.

"That it is, Erin. Though we're going to have to face the rest of them eventually."

"Are you a mind reader, Spencer? I know we'll have to think of something eventually, but for now I am content with being your ever faithful Heloise."

Erin felt him kiss the top of her head and she sighed. "And I'll be your loving Abelard. I will never abandon you, though, Erin. He was weak, and I don't want you to think that will be me."

"I know that's not you. You're loyal to a fault, one of the traits I've always admired in you." She took a deep breath. "Do you think this could be love?"

"It could very well be the start of love. We share similar life experiences, we're well matched sexually, and it seems as though we like each other. Three very good foundations to love, wouldn't you say?"

"Yes." She brought her hand up to tug lightly on his nipple ring, needing to do something with her hand. "Usually, I'm exhausted after sex, and yet here I am, still wide awake."

"I could hum for you again. That seemed to relax you last time."

"That would be nice. My father used to sing me to sleep on stormy nights, or whenever I was too keyed up to sleep. And please do not say anything about the Electra complex."

Her statement caused him to laugh and she relished how the vibrations made her body feel. "This is going to be an amazing relationship, I can tell. Now, do you have a particular tune you'd like to hear from me?"

"Something by Beethoven. The Pastoral, perhaps?"

"Of course, my faithful Heloise." He began to hum the melody of the song and she could feel it soak into her bones, relaxing her almost instantly.

"Oh, my loving Abelard," she murmured as her eyes fluttered closed. She was asleep before he had finished the first movement.


	3. The Space Between Dream and Reality

Erin drifted awake from a sweet dream. Spencer was lying next to her, his arm around her waist, and she burrowed into the warmth he gave off. Both of them were hesitant about making their relationship official, to call themselves a couple, even though they'd been sleeping together for three weeks now. They had a good thing going, and she didn't want to rock the boat too much.

"What are you thinking about, my tender Heloise?" he asked as he woke up as well, his hand cupping her breast, tugging at her piercing.

"I'm going to sing for you," she blurted out as the space between dream and reality faded with the morning dew.

"What?" He sat up, pulling her over to rest on his chest so he could play with her hair.

"At your club. It's open mic night tonight, and I want to sing for you. I contacted the owner and he said I could do a three song set. I want to risk this for you, after everything you've risked for me."

"I'm playing tonight, too, for an hour. The team is going to be there, they haven't heard me play in a while."

"Oh." She felt strangely hurt by the admission and began to get up. "I can…"

"No! I'm your faithful Abelard. I am not ashamed of you, nor do I want to hide you away. You just needed to know, in case that would change your mind. My set tonight will be dedicated to my tender Heloise. It's going to be my way of letting them know I have a girlfriend."

He bent his head and kissed her forehead and she just sighed. "I can be such a fool, Spencer."

"No, you're not a fool, Erin. You are coming out of a long winter and learning what warmth and love are once more." She nodded and he kissed her again. "Now, we need to get moving, or we'll be late to work. That would really get tongues wagging."

"If they figure us out tonight?" she asked as she got out of bed, walking over to her dresser.

"Then we go from there. You might have to do a little damage control, but I feel confident that we can get through anything Erin?" She turned to look at him as she fastened her bra. "Would you mind if I thought of you as my partner?"

A great joy welled up in her breast and she shook her head. "No, I would not mind that at all."

He blushed as he tugged on a pair of khaki pants. "How can such a little thing like that make you so happy?"

"I've been living in limbo for about two years now, Spencer, not knowing of anything in my life would be there in the morning when I got up. By you claiming me as your partner, you've given this some permanence, some heft, and that sets my soul at ease." She zipped her skirt and went over to him as she tugged on her blouse. "As you said, winter is over, and with spring comes joy unbridled."

Erin stopped in front of her Spencer, waiting for his response. It didn't take long as he bent and kissed her softly. He let the kiss linger until she thought she would drown in the taste of his sweet lips. "I'll see you tonight at the club, then," he said once he'd released her. She nodded and watched him amble from her bedroom.

Once he'd gone, she hurried to the bathroom to do her hair and makeup. Before leaving, she set out the slinky red dress she'd bought for tonight and put her silver pumps next to it on the bed. Taking the stairs two at a time, she smiled widely. In the kitchen, he'd set out her coffee mug, filled and waiting for her next to her purse and keys. His thoughtfulness was one of the things she'd quickly grown accustomed to and it had endeared him to her.

While she was driving, her phone rang and she touched her Bluetooth. "Hello?"

"Hello, Erin. I forgot to tell you, bring a go bag with you tonight. I'm taking you home with me."

Erin could feel her cheeks redden with pleasure as she drew in a deep breath. "That will be really nice, Spencer. Am I going to pack for the weekend, then?"

"Yes. Pack casual clothes, though, I want to go for a walk in the park with you. I know, how romantic for a first day out with you."

"I'm going to consider tonight as our first official date, Spencer." She loved saying his name, knowing he was hers.

She listened to him cough, as if he had choked on his breath. "That sounds like a better plan. Today is going to drag by, since I don't really have much work to do. You know, I've found myself mooning over you? Emily swears it's because she's leaving again."

"And you're letting her believe that?"

"Do you know how badly Morgan would tease me if he knew a woman had put my head in the clouds? I love you, Erin, but I'm not about to let that give him ammunition."

He had said those words so casually she thought she had heard wrong. "After three weeks…"

"My mom told me that when you know, you know."

"And now my day is going to drag on, too. I love you, and I'll see you this evening."

"Until this evening, my sweet Heloise." He hung up and she sank back in her seat, a dumb grin on her face. She had not been able to tell her ex-husband those words until they'd been dating six months, and then only because she felt she had to. Their parents had pushed them together since grade school, and she felt duty-bound in marrying him.

But Spencer, he excited her, he understood her, and he loved her. She had never expected to fall in love with him, she was just so overwhelmed by the suddenness of it all. She drove on autopilot the rest of the way to work, thinking about her lover.

By the time she got up to her office, she was officially in la-la land and she nodded to her assistant as she went into her personal sanctum. Sighing like a lovesick schoolgirl, she flopped down in her chair and stared at her computer screen. As he computer booted up, she thought about the three songs she was going to sing. It had been easy to come up with 'A Nightingale Sang in Berkley Square' and 'In a Sentimental Mood', but 'Peel Me a Grape' had taken her longer to feel comfortable with.

"Chief Strauss, Agent Hotchner is requesting to see you." She looked up at Helen and blinked a few times. "I can ask him to come back later, if that would be better."

"No, Helen, now is fine. Send him in." Helen nodded and motioned to him and he soon appeared in front of her. "Please, have a seat. What can I do for you?"

"I'm worried about Dr. Reid, Erin. I know he's been dealing with some headache issues, but those seemed to be getting better. In the last month, however, he's been spacy, staring off into the distance at the oddest times."

"Is it interfering with his work?" she asked, trying to look serious.

"Not yet, no."

"Then I fail to see what the problem is, Aaron. Have any of you considered the idea that he might have a girlfriend? Or a boyfriend?"

He shook his head. "Reid isn't the mooning type, Erin."

"When you fall in love, Aaron, weird things happen. Don't be so quick to discount the obvious. Dr. Reid is human after all." She found herself smiling kindly at him and enjoyed the confused look that rippled over his face. "Do you need anything else?"

"No, Ma'am. Oh we will be heading out a little early today. Reid's playing at his club tonight, and we're going to go see him. Is that going to be a problem?"

"No. You all put in such long hours that one early slip out will not be noticed. I hope you all have a good time tonight."

"Thank you," he said, still looking confused. "Um, have a good weekend."

"I will, Agent Hotchner." She stood and he followed suit, letting her usher him to the door. "And tell Dr. Reid that I hope he does well this evening."

"You're more than welcome to come, too, you know."

She was touched by the spontaneous offer, knowing he truly meant well. "Perhaps you'll see me there, then. Have a good day."

"You as well, Erin." He left her office and she shut the door, leaning against it. At least, this way, she had planted the idea of her being there in his head.

Taking a deep breath, she sat back down and fought to concentrate on her work. It was a losing battle and shortly after one, she stood up, grabbed her purse, and left her office. "Helen, I'm heading home now. Please hold my calls or take messages for Monday. Have a good weekend."

"You, too, Erin." The woman smiled at her, as if she knew what was going on. Erin just shook her head and made her way to the elevators. While waiting for one, she looked in the bullpen and caught Spencer looking at her. She smiled and then turned away from him, certain that she was about to give them away.

She was barely halfway down to the parking garage when her phone chirped. Pulling it out, she saw a text from him. _Bring a set of handcuffs with you, if you have them._

_I prefer silk scarves, Spencer. My skin tends to bruise easily. Will that be okay?_

_ Perfectly so. Hotch told me._

_ Better to plant the idea, my faithful Abelard._

_ There is that. Until tonight, my sweet Heloise._

Erin smiled and slipped her phone back in her purse. She didn't remember the drive home, but she was soon parking and heading inside. Once in her bedroom, she packed up her weekend bag before stripping and going into the bathroom. She had five hours to get ready, so she decided to take a bath.

She turned the water on, getting the temperature just right before adding vanilla bath oil to it. Stepping inside the tub, she sank into the warmth of the water, relishing the way it lapped at her skin. She relaxed in the tub, washing her body slowly as she thought about the evening ahead. It would be so wonderful to sing for him.

When the water began to cool, she let it drain and then stood up, closing the curtain as she turned the shower on to wash her hair. With that finished, she stepped out and wrapped a towel around her body. Sitting on the toilet, she worked lotion into her heels, knees, and elbows before letting the towel drop to the floor as she blow dried her hair.

Going back into the bedroom, she began to dress, attaching shimmery hose to a black lace garter belt. Her dress had a built in bra, so she was able to forgo that piece of clothing. Padding back into the bathroom, she applied her makeup, making certain to do the smoky eye shadow she knew Spencer liked to see on her. She painted her lips a bright, brilliant, red and then styled her hair so that it obscured her right eye.

By the time she had finished, she had thirty minutes to get to the club. Stepping into her heels and picking up her bag, she went downstairs and grabbed her clutch, stuffing her phone inside. The drive did little to calm the nerves that had sprung up in her stomach and she tapped her fingers anxiously on the steering wheel of her car.

Erin went to the back door as instructed and the woman she'd spoken with on the phone greeted her. "Erin, right?" She nodded. "All right, you're going on after our resident trumpet player, Jody Marvin. Spencer will be after you, so you'll have a little time to go out and watch him. Here's the full lineup." She handed her a piece of paper that had their names on it and Erin scanned the list, looking to see if anyone else she knew would be there. The first thing that jumped out to her was the fact that she was performing fourth that evening. "The band will accompany you, and they have your order of songs already. Any questions?"

"I forgot to bring a copy of my music!" she exclaimed, realizing she'd left it on the counter.

"Don't worry, I always make a copy for our vocalists, just in case this happens." The woman led her over to an alcove and pulled out a slim black folder. "Here you go. Try not to be nervous, you'll do fine."

Erin tried to smile, but found herself too nervous to do so. "Heloise!" Turning, she stepped into Spencer's open arms, letting him rub her back. Tenderly, he kissed her cheek. "You look ravishing."

"Thank you," she replied as he led her over to the green room. A number of people were warming up, and Spencer played some scales for her so that her voice wouldn't be totally cold going on stage.

"All right, I'm going out into the audience now. The others snagged tables right next to the stage, so they will recognize you. Keep your eyes on me. I love you."

"I love you, too." He kissed her cheek once more and left her alone backstage. Everything passed in a blur and then she was stepping on the stage. The band played the intro to 'In a Sentimental Mood' and she found her Spencer in the crowd. He was seated next to Agent Jareau, grinning at her.

The songs poured from her throat as she never took her eyes from her lover. When she'd finished, she took a bow and then went backstage. Giving her music to the stage manager, she hurried out into the audience, finding a seat where she could see Spencer. He went to the mic before beginning to play. "This is for my tender Heloise," he said softly, looking directly at her.

Erin smiled and listened to him play, never noticing Dave come up to her until he sat down. "Is he your Abelard, then, Erin?"

She turned her head to look at him, wary of how he would react. "It depends. Who else knows?"

"Just me, at the moment, and I won't tell if you don't want me to. Are you two happy?"

"Yes. Incredibly so."

"That's all that matters, Erin. Come on and join us, you shouldn't be alone." She nodded and took his hand, following him over to the tables where Alpha team was camped out.

"I had no idea you could sing like that, Ma'am," Ms. Garcia gushed. "You and Reid are going to have to do some songs together sometime, if his girlfriend will let him."

"I'm sure they'll be able to arrange that, Kitten." Ms. Garcia just beamed at Dave, not making the connection.

Erin focused on her lover for the rest of his set, watching his fingers dance over the keys. "He's utterly amazing," she said quietly. Dave nodded and she blinked back sudden tears. "I'm glad you know."

When Spencer had finished, he joined them, pushing his way between her and Ms. Garcia. "I didn't know you could sing so well, Chief Strauss. You sounded beautiful."

"Thank you, Dr. Reid." She smiled at him, feeling free enough to do so. "And you're a wonderful player." He nodded and fell into a conversation with Agent Hotchner. Without anyone else noticing, he slipped his hand under the table and caressed her leg. She struggled to keep herself under control as she talked with Dave.

She had almost let go of the frayed strand that was her control when Spencer stood. "My mom is expecting me to call her this evening. I'll see you all on Monday." Once he was out the door, her phone rang and she answered. "Make your excuses and meet me outside. I want to kiss you so badly."

"Yes, I understand, I'll be right there." She looked around the tables, smiling apologetically. "I'm sorry, I have to go as well. Work, you know." The nodded at her and she caught Dave's wink at her. Gliding from the building, she found herself wrapped up into a warm hug and she melted into the embrace as Spencer kissed her hungrily.

"I've been wanting to do that since you began to sing 'Peel Me a Grape'. God, Erin, I can't get enough of you." He kissed her once more, softly nipping at her lower lip. "I'll try to drive slowly, my lovely Heloise."

She nodded and went over to her car, following him home. When she'd parked, she barely had time to grab her bag before he was on her, kissing her once more. The sweet, heady, passion thrilled her and she gave herself over to it. "I don't think I can wait for any setup, Spencer. We'll play with the scarves tomorrow?"

"That's fine, I don't think I can last much longer, either." He led her to his apartment and ushered her inside. The first thing she noticed was the scent of old books. "Through here," he murmured, leading her into a bedroom lined with shelves of books. She stepped out of her heels, letting him unzip her dress and peel it away from her body. "Do you mind if I leave your garter and hose on?"

She shook her head and then gasped as he knelt in front of her, kissing her mound as he tugged off her panties. He then kissed his way up her body, paying special attention to her breasts, before capturing her lips once more. As they kissed, she undressed him, pushing his clothes to the floor before falling back on the bed, taking him with her. "Make love to me, Spencer."

"Gladly, Erin…"


	4. Jolt!

"Ms. Garcia, I really must announce you. She could be on an important call!" Sitting up with a jolt, Erin looked to her door, watching Helen argue with the woman.

Standing up quickly, she went to the door and opened it all the way. "Yes, Ms. Garcia?"

"I need to talk to you. Do you have a moment?" Noticing that the woman was close to tears, she nodded, ushering her inside. Closing the door, she sat down on her sofa and waited for Ms. Garcia's next move. The younger woman sat very close to her and reached out to clasp her hand.

"Ms. Garcia, what is it?"

"Please, call me Penelope. If you're Reid's lover, you're my friend. He's waiting for you in the parking garage. His mother was attacked by another patient just now and it doesn't look good for her. He wants you to go with him to Vegas."

Erin felt the blood drain from her face as she tried to nod. She stood shakily and groped for her go bag. "Does he have our plane tickets already?"

"Hotch is letting him use the jet. We're all chipping in to pay for the fuel, since it is an unauthorized trip." The woman, Penelope, pulled her into a tight hug. "Don't worry, I'm the only one who knows about you two. Watch over him for us, would you? This is going to devastate him so."

She nodded and went over to her desk, grabbing her purse. "I'll call you with updates." Penelope nodded as well and followed her from the office. "Helen, I'm going to Las Vegas. There's an emergency out there I have to deal with. Send along anything important in my email."

Her assistant nodded. "Take care, Ma'am."

"I'll try." She felt sick to her stomach and could only imagine what Spencer was going through. Hardly noticing Penelope shadowing her, she went to the elevator bank and pressed the down button. "Pray for us, Penelope."

"Always, Chief Strauss."

"Erin," she said as the elevator doors opened. Penelope smiled kindly at her, and she tried to smile back. Thankfully, there was no one else in the car with her, and she let her tears fall. Spencer was waiting for her when the doors opened and she fell into his open arms. "We'll take my car, Spencer. It goes faster." He nodded against her shoulder and together they walked to her Lexus.

"I'll drive."

"Of course, Spencer." She threw her go bag in the backseat and he followed suit. Once they were underway, she called Helen. "I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you that if Shepperd asks, I had a family emergency in Las Vegas. I'm expecting to be out a week. If it's going to be longer than that, I'll let you know."

"All right, Erin. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Not that I can think of, thank you. I'll try to keep in touch."

"Just take care of yourself, Erin. I'll hold down things here." Helen said before she hung up.

Erin smiled and put her phone away. Turning in the seat, she watched Spencer, noticing the tear tracks down his cheeks. Reaching out, she swiped at them with her thumb, feeling her own sorrow well up once more. "Spencer…"

"I know, Erin. I didn't say thank you, you know. I really appreciate you coming with me."

"I love you, Spencer. That means I would do anything for you. Including moving heaven and earth to save her."

"While I don't think that will be possible, thank you for the sentiment. I'm not ready to lose her, Erin." He pulled into the parking lot of the airfield and turned off her car.

She got out and grabbed their bags before opening his door. "Come along, my faithful Abelard. Our jet is waiting." She held out her hand and he clasped it tightly, pulling himself up to stand next to her. The pilot was waiting for them and nodded as they boarded the plane.

As soon as they were in the air, she curled into Spencer, resting her head on his chest. He began to stroke her hair and this made her cry once more. She knew her Spencer was crying, too, as she could feel it in the way he breathed. "How do I say goodbye, Erin? I've known this was coming, but still…"

"It's so very sudden and violent. It's jolted you from someday to now." He nodded and leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "My own mother was murdered when I was sixteen. She had gone to the bank one morning and landed in the middle of a robbery. They pulled me out of history class to tell me. She had seen the perfect dress for my prom and impulsively decided to get money out for it."

"And you never did another impulsive thing until now."

"That's right. Now you're in my life and have brought me such great joy and love. Your sorrow is my sorrow, Spencer."

"And your joy is my joy, Erin." She looked up and he kissed her sweetly. "When I think about how much I love you, it scares me. It doesn't make logical sense to love you, given our age difference. Other than my mother, though, you are the person who means the most to me in this world."

The honesty in his voice touched her heart and she snuggled into him. "It was hard, pretending we weren't a couple during the bank operation. I kept watching for you, listening for you, and I was sure Aaron would figure me out."

"And I wanted you to be my plus one at the wedding."

"Is that why you called so many times?" He nodded and she smiled before spreading her hand out over his heart.

"I write to my mother every day. She knows you're in my life." He paused, twirling a piece of her hair between his fingers. "I want to make this more official than just partners who sleep together every night I'm home. I want you to be by my side every minute of every day. I want everyone to know."

"Spencer?"

"We've been together three months now. I love you. You love me. I'm not one for a big, fancy, party and we are going to be in Vegas shortly. Marry me."

"Yes." Once more, she felt a wave of great joy sweep over her and she leaned back to look into his eyes. "Yes. I don't know how we'll navigate work, but I would love to be Mrs. Spencer Reid."

He kissed her gently and she melted into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Under every grief and pine runs a thread with silver twine," he murmured in her ear.

"Oh, how I love William Blake's poetry."

"I love that you know his poetry. While my mother introduced me to Chaucer, I discovered Blake on my own." He kissed her hungrily and she felt her body respond to him. "I won't let them destroy our garden of love."

"I won't either. Are you going to…?"

"I would like to, if you don't mind." She shook her head and he pushed her back onto the seat. As she pulled her skirt up around her waist, he tugged her underwear off before unbuckling his belt and pulling his pants and boxers down. She wasn't quite ready for him, and she tried not to cry out in pain. He noticed her discomfort and reached down to tease her clit, sending a flood of fluid into her channel, easing his way. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she murmured, pulling him down on top of her so she could kiss him as he thrust in and out of her body. It didn't take long for him to climax and he collapsed on her, nuzzling his face into her neck as he sobbed. "What is it, my love?"

"I hurt you."

"A momentary discomfort. Your needs were greater than my comfort." She stroked his hair as she cried herself, feeling his sorrow keenly. They must have fallen asleep, because the next thing she knew, the plane had begun its descent. Spencer sat up and grabbed her panties, handing them to her.

"I didn't want to wake you," he said softly. "You looked so peaceful in my arms, so I just watched you, trying to find that same sense of peace. I'm so glad you are here with me."

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." She sat up and pulled on her panties. "I wouldn't have been any good at the office, had I stayed behind. Can you imagine what your friends would have gone through?" She leaned over and kissed her Spencer tenderly.

The plane landed and they hurried through the airport to get a cab. They were silent the entire drive to the hospital, but he held onto her hand tightly. He dragged her into the hospital and up to the information desk. "Spencer Reid and my wife, Erin. You have my mother, Diana Reid, here."

The woman smiled kindly at them as she tapped on her keyboard. "She's in the ICU right now. Follow Emily, she'll lead the way." She wrote something down on a slip of paper before handing it to the young blonde woman.

They trailed after her and were soon on an elevator, stepping out onto the ICU floor. Erin was instantly overwhelmed by the oppressive silence there and she clung to Spencer. He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. Finally, Emily stopped in front of an open door. "Mrs. Reid is in here."

They nodded together and stepped inside. A doctor was checking out the various beeping machines and Spencer cleared his throat. "Dr. Reid?" Spencer nodded. "I've been waiting for you. You have some decisions to make…"

As they talked, Erin took a seat next to Diana, picking up her hand. "Hello, Diana, I'm Erin. I'm going to marry your son while we're here. You raised a fine son, he treats me like a queen. I wish there was more time to get to know you. I would have liked having a mother again."

She felt Spencer's hand come to rest on her shoulder and she looked up at him. "The doctor is going to turn off the machines now. He said it would be quick and relatively painless." She nodded and he sat next to her, taking hold of his mother's hand. "Mom, this is the woman I love. I wish you could have met her, I know you would have loved her. She knows Blake and Abelard. In fact, she's my faithful Heloise. I love you, Mom."

He fell silent and Erin began to cry once more. She scooted her chair closer to his and laid her head on his shoulder as they waited. It seemed to take forever for the machines to show a slowdown and then stop to her breathing and her heart. When it happened, the doctor made a note in the chart and then left the room, closing the door behind him. Erin's tears turned to sobs at the same time Spencer broke down and they held onto each other tightly. "What now?" she finally whispered.

"We go find a hotel. I've already made arrangements for her body to be cremated, I did that years ago, just in case. Once we're checked in, we're going to find a chapel and get married. I don't ever want you to leave my side." They stood and he pulled her into a warm embrace. "I love you, Erin Strauss."

"I love you, Spencer Reid." Hand in hand, they left the room and by the time they got back down to the lobby, they had managed to put on halfway together looks. After hailing a cab, Spencer told the driver to take them to the Excalibur.

"This is my home, Erin. Why do I feel so adrift?"

"Your last tie to it was just severed. There's nothing holding you here anymore." He nodded and she snuggled into him, watching the lights of the Strip sparkle in the sunlight.

"We'd like a room, please," he said once they'd made their way to the check in counter. "The best you have available."

"For how long?" the woman asked.

"Two nights." He tightened his arm around her waist and she smiled slightly.

"All right, you'll be in one of our executive suites on the thirtieth floor." Spencer showed her his id and the woman nodded. "And may I have your credit card, please?" He handed it over and she ran it through her machine. While it was processing, the woman showed them where their room was. After Spencer had signed the receipt, they were given the keys and hand in hand they went over to the elevator bank.

"Spencer, this is too much."

"It's not enough." His cellphone rang and he took it off his belt. "It's Penelope. Hey, Garcia. We got here in time to say goodbye. Erin and I are staying at the Excalibur tonight and tomorrow night. We'll be driving back, since there are so many hoops to jump through to bring the ashes home on a plane. Oh, and we're getting married tonight. Of course, here she is."

Spencer handed her the phone and she smiled at him. "Hello, Penelope."

"Why didn't you tell me you two were going to elope? I can't keep a secret this big!"

"Then don't."

"What? Have you lost your mind? What about Director Shepperd? This could cost you your job, since you're Reid's supervisor!"

"And I don't think I care at this point. I love him, Penelope, and if that's the price I have to pay, so be it."

"So, you're his faithful Heloise. I never expected either of you to be so freaking romantic. It really is adorable." Erin heard her sigh and she smiled a little wider.

"Well, we were going to keep it quiet, but then David found out and now you…"

"Don't worry, we'll look out for you. Have fun tonight."

"I've been having fun for weeks. Now is our time to be."

"Too true, Angelfish. I'll make sure no one bothers you until you get home. Talk to you later!" The woman hung up just as the doors opened up on their floor.

"Shall we?" he asked as he held out his arm. She took it and they went down to their suite. The first thing she noticed was how large the bed was. The next was all the windows. "I want to make love to my wife with all the curtains open."

"I would love nothing more than that. Do you think my outfit is okay?"

He nodded. "You're beautiful, no matter what you're wearing, or not wearing. You'll probably want to redo your makeup, though. You have raccoon eyes." Spencer tenderly ran his thumb beneath her eyes and she leaned into the touch. He lifted her chin and kissed her softly. "My loyal Heloise."

"My faithful Abelard," she whispered before kissing him once more. Taking out her makeup bag, she went into the bathroom and sat down at the vanity. As she washed her face, he came up behind her and watched as she reapplied her makeup. Reaching over her shoulder, he grabbed her brush and began to style her hair.

When finished, she stood and wrapped her arms around him. "Are you ready to do this?"

"I am, Spencer." He slipped his arm around her waist and they went out to the elevators. On the ride down, she rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was steady and soothing, and she felt herself relax into him.

They went up to the concierge desk and were given directions to the chapel. While Spencer got all of the documentation taken care of, Erin was ushered into the floral room and told to pick out a ready-made bouquet. She fell in love with one made from midnight blue irises and the clerk whipped up a quick boutonniere for her soon to be husband.

When they came back together, he beloved was smiling bemusedly. "We'll have to pick out rings after this. I sort of forgot about those." She nodded and went to his side, sighing as he slid his arm around her waist once more, where it belonged.

"All right, are you two ready to get married?" the minister asked as he led them to the front of the chapel.

"Yes," they replied in tandem, stopping on their marks. The ceremony was quite brief and soon, Spencer was lifting her chin and kissing her. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close as the kiss lingered on. They finally came up for air and she tried to smile prettily for the camera.

"Hello, Mrs. Reid."

"Hello, my love." Her stomach growled loudly and he laughed. "I guess we should get something to eat."

"I guess." He clasped her hand and they took the paperwork from the minister's hand. "Let's run this up, though, so we don't lose it." She nodded and they made their way back to their room. Once safely behind the door, he began to cry again and she wrapped him in her arms, holding him tightly. "She's gone."

"I know, my love, I know." Somehow, she got him over to the bed and she stepped out of her shoes before pulling him down on the mattress, spooning up close to his body. "Spence, let me in."

Those words seemed to open something in him and he enveloped her in a tight, warm, hug. "Erin, my Erin, don't ever let me go." Blindly, his lips sought hers and their kiss was intense. She could feel everything he was trying to tell her through the buss and she hoped he could read her emotions just as well.

"I won't, I won't," she murmured as he covered her face in kisses. "Let's just rest and be for a while. We can get our ring tomorrow."

He pulled her tighter to him as he nodded. Slowly, their breathing evened out and she fell asleep shortly after he did.


	5. Our Own World

Erin woke and stretched, breathing in deeply. Blinking open her eyes, she looked up into Spencer's warm, sad, eyes. "Good morning, Spencer."

"More like good afternoon. Have you not been sleeping well lately?"

"I have nightmares when you're in the field. I sleep better with you." She lifted her lips for a kiss and he obliged her.

"Get up. I ordered us room service. We haven't eaten since yesterday." Her stomach spoke up, agreeing with him by loudly grumbling. They both laughed as he led her over to the table. Spencer pulled out her chair for her, and she smiled gently as she sat. "We haven't eaten together enough for me to know your preferences, so I hope you like this."

He pulled the lids off their plates to reveal he'd ordered them Peking Duck. "This looks delicious." He smiled in relief as he sat next to her. Erin tore into her food, hunger winning out over good manners. Her husband cleared their plates and then places a smaller plate in front of her. "You didn't get dessert?"

"I have plans for my dessert that involve chocolate and a paintbrush."

The way he looked at her, so hungry for her, made her blush, and she lifted the lid from the plate, handing it to him. Then she looked down and saw the rings embedded in the frosting of the cupcake. "Spencer?"

"I measured your finger while you slept and went and got us rings." He showed her the wide gold band on his finger and she nodded. Carefully, Erin pulled the rings out of the frosting and sucked it off. He took the bands from her hands, slipping the plain gold one on first. "With this ring, I thee wed." He slid the ornamental band on top and she smiled to see the sapphire nestled between two diamonds.

"Why a sapphire?" she asked as she broke off a piece of cupcake and popped it in her mouth.

"To match your eyes." He broke another piece off and held it out to her. She opened her mouth and he dropped it inside. Erin closed her lips around his fingers, sucking and licking at them. He groaned lowly and drew his fingers out. "Erin…"

"Chocolate time now?" He nodded and they stood, going over to the bed. She couldn't take her eyes off him as she stripped, letting her clothes fall to the floor.

"Climb into bed. I have to go grab a towel." She nodded and did as told, feeling anticipation build up in her body. Breathing in deeply, she could smell the chocolate and bit her lip. "Here we are."

She watched him strip the covers down to the foot of the bed and then spread out the towel. Erin arranged her body on the towel while Spencer disrobed and she watched him dip the brush in the can of chocolate, bringing it over to her body. The sweet liquid dripped onto her and she tried not to flinch or giggle as he painted her nipples, her stomach, and her mound. She lifted her hips in clear invitation to him. "Please…"

"This has to be done in the right order, Erin." He knelt on the bed and engulfed her breast, licking and sucking the chocolate off. Her hips bucked up once more, and he gently pushed her back down, running his thumb along the crease of her thigh. "I need to make up for the plane," he said lowly as he moved to her other breast. Ever so gently, his teeth tugged at her piercing and she reached up to bury a hand in his hair.

Erin whimpered lowly as he dragged a finger through the decoration on her stomach, offering it to her. She suckled on the digit with abandon, carefully biting down as he nipped at the too hard peak her nipple had become. Releasing her breast, he kissed his way down to the heart on her stomach. The moment his lips were there, she felt her back bow, the orgasm tearing through her.

Her husband didn't let up, caressing and sucking at her skin, building up another orgasm in her as he dragged his tongue down to her mound. The chocolate had begun to run down her labia and he feasted in her. The edges of her vision turned dark and everything seemed to come down to just them in their own little world.

Erin fought to catch her breath as she came down from the crest. Spencer cradled her gently and she felt his arousal, hard and throbbing, against her thigh. Spreading her legs, she guided him into her, welcoming his thrust with a thrust all her own. "Spencer," she breathed out as he set a slow, almost lazy, pace for them. They met halfway in an overwhelming kiss, and she felt her third orgasm build and build until finally she went over the edge, taking him with her.

When she opened her eyes again, he was on his side, staring at her, tracing patterns on her skin. "Welcome back. I was getting a little worried there for a moment."

"I haven't had three back to back orgasms in years, my caring Abelard." Sitting up, she wrapped her arms around her legs and smiled. "What are we going to do with the rest of our day?"

"I have to go to the funeral home at five and pick up the urn…"

"Don't you mean, we have to go?" He sat up next to her, slinging an arm around her shoulder, holding her close.

"Yes. That is exactly what I meant. I love you." He turned his head and kissed her cheek. "We'll head home tomorrow. I figured we could rent a car and drive slowly. We can use the time to get to know each other better. I already have your body memorized."

She blushed as she nodded. "We'll have to make a decision on where we're going to live, too. I rather like your apartment."

"And I rather like your house. I could pull some of my books out of storage. That is, if you want to stay at your house. We could always find somewhere new, somewhere just for us."

"Like a cottage on a lake," she murmured. "When I married Alan, that's what I had my heart set on. You saw what we ended up with. But since he has custody of our youngest, I guess it doesn't matter where I live." She snuggled into him, resting her head on his chest as he finger combed her hair. "Is it selfish that I want to live somewhere I can make new memories with you?"  
"No, it's not. So, until we find our cottage on the lake, we'll stay at…"

"The apartment. I want to be surrounded by you when you're in the field." Lifting her face, she kissed him sweetly. "I'll write the children and let them know about what's going on." They got up and he held out the fuzzy robe for her. Settling it around her shoulders, he then padded over to their bags and pulled out fresh clothes.

"We should go shopping, too, before we leave. Our clean clothes supply won't last us until we get back." She nodded and pulled her phone out of her purse before curling up on the sofa. Looking at the display, she saw she had numerous texts from Helen and Penelope, and she quickly scrolled through them.

"Shepperd wants to see me the minute we get back," she said softly, not looking up from the screen. "It seems that everyone knows already. Penelope sure moves quickly." She took a deep breath and he settled on the couch next to her, pulling her close.

"Is this going to be a good or bad thing?"

"I don't know, Spence. Maybe good, since he only wants to see me. Do you think I should call him now, instead?"

"It's only four o'clock back home, so why don't you, if this if going to bother you. I don't want you to worry about this the entire drive home."

She smiled a little and snuggled into his arms as she looked up Shepperd's office number in her contact list. As it dialed, she held out her free hand to her husband and he held it tightly. "Shepperd here."

"Hi, Ron, it's Erin. I know Helen told me you wanted to see me when we got back, but that's going to take a while, since we have to drive home. Am I in trouble?"

"I don't know, Erin. You tell me."

"No?"

He laughed kindly and she relaxed her hold on Spencer's hand. "Well, you're partially right. I am going to have to suspend you for two weeks, but with pay. Erin, this probably wasn't a wise decision."

"It was the right one, though. I love him, Ron, and he loves me."

"How long have you been together?"

"Almost four months. And don't even say it, I know how fast we've moved. Spencer is where my heart feels safe, though. What are we going to have to do when we get home?"

"I'm going to have to do some shuffling of the Section Chiefs. You'll still oversee Sam's team, though for obvious reasons, not Aaron's. Is there someone else you'd like to work with?"

She thought for a moment. "Perhaps Mike's team? We've always gotten along well."

"Consider it done. You know, Ms. Garcia had this silly idea in her head that I was going to fire both you and Dr. Reid. I'm not about to lose two of my best agents."

She smiled up at Spencer and he grinned back. "That sets my heart at ease, Ron. Thank you."

"No problem. I'll see you in three weeks."

Erin hung up and laughed. "Well, what's the verdict? Do we have jobs when we get back?"

"We do. I'm suspended for two weeks and I won't be in charge of your unit any longer. I guess he respects me more than I know."

"Good." He kissed her gently and she melted into the embrace. "Now get dressed so we can get some new clothes and pick up the urn."

She stood and let the robe drop to the floor, pulling on the panties Spencer had picked out for her. She wiggled her hips and heard him growl lowly. "Yes, honey?"

"Don't tempt me so." She giggled and pulled on her bra. "Do I need to spank you?"

She turned and locked eyes with him, grinning wickedly. "Maybe you do. Is there time for that?" She bit her finger innocently as she twisted her toe in the carpet.

He nodded and she made her way over to him. "Take down your panties." She did so, leaving them around her knees as she draped her body over his legs. The first sharp smack felt deliciously wanton and she gave herself over to the sensations, trusting Spencer not to hurt her. It was over far too soon and she whimpered lowly in frustration. "Too much too soon will leave you tender. And we have to drive three thousand miles home."

Getting up, she nodded and pulled up her panties. She finished dressing quickly and then leaned down to kiss him. "Are you ready?" she asked as she picked up her purse and phone.

"Yes." He stood and grabbed hold of her hand and they walked out together. "I love how much you trust me," he said as they rode the elevator down.

"I love how tender you are with me." She snuggled close to him, smiling as his hand slipped down to rest on her ass. "The things you do to me, Spencer."

"They're only equal to the things you do to me." He kissed her temple gently and she sighed. "I love your sighs. They let me know when you're happy or sad." The doors opened on the ground floor and they walked out hand in hand. As Spencer hailed a cab, she took out her phone and began to text Helen, telling her what was happening.

"Are we going to pick up the rental car first today?" she asked as she slid in next to him.

"Good idea. One less thing to worry about later on today." He looked at the taxi driver. "Harry, could you take us to the nearest car rental lot?" The man nodded and they were soon under way. The taxi dropped them off at Avis and she paid him before joining Spencer on the sidewalk. "What do you think – van or sedan?"

"A sedan will get better gas mileage."

"That's true. You know, your car is still at the airfield. We should probably have it brought home."

"While you get the car, I'll call Penelope and see if she can bring it to the apartment." He nodded and they went inside. Spencer went up to the counter while she hung back, dialing Penelope's office number.

"Erin Reid, why are you calling home on your honeymoon?"

She smiled at the use of her married name. "I need you to drive my car to our apartment. Helen has an extra set of keys. I had forgotten we'd left it at the airfield."

"Oh, of course I can do that! How are you guys holding up?"

"I think we're going to be okay, in time. And thank you for looking out for us." She looked up to see Spencer dangling the keys in front of her face. "We have to go now. I'll try to keep in touch."

"Okay, Erin. Let Reid know I love you guys."

"I will." She hung up and slipped her arm around her husband's waist. "Penelope sends her love. What kind of car did you get for us?"

"A black Lexus." He led her out to the lot and they found the vehicle quickly. "What are you going to do for two weeks, Erin?"  
"Pack, bring over my clothes, read some of those books that line your walls. And I'll be waiting for you to come back to me each night. I'll be able to cook for you. I'm not one to be Suzy Homemaker, but it will be fun for a few weeks." She felt herself grin wickedly. "I want to be a good for you, Spencer," she purred.

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "But not too good. Right, Erin?"

His words alone were enough to make her wet and she nodded. "Right."

"Like right now you want to masturbate for me." She drew in a sharp breath as she felt herself grow wetter. Shifting in the seat, she reclined it a little and then tugged her panties down ot her knees. "That smells so good, my darling Heloise."

Erin heard herself whine at his words and she awkwardly slipped her fingers between her folds. "Spencer, do you know how wet I am? How much I want you right now?" she murmured as she rubbed her clit with her thumb. "I'm so close." The orgasm overwhelmed her and vaguely she heard how she wailed his name.

"You are amazing, Erin." She nodded lazily and tugged her panties back into place. As she sat up, he reached out for her hand, bringing it up to his lips to softly lick and suck her fingers clean.

"Just so you know, we're not doing that at work. While Ron may like me, I'd rather not push my luck, okay?" He nodded and let go of her hand. "Now tell me a story about your mother."

"All right." He took a deep breath and she rubbed his arm encouragingly. "She always read to me. And not kid's books. I knew _The Canterbury Tales_ intimately by the time I was ten. Same goes for the legends of King Arthur. I was convinced that dragons were real and she did little to discourage me. But I missed out on a lot. I haven't read many fairy tales, or the books that most kids have. But I don't think I would change a single moment. She loved me, and gave me the best education."

"And she raised a kind, loving, son. I tend to say I love you, a lot," she blurted out, staring at her lap.

"Why?"

"I never got to tell me mother that. We'd argued that morning, Spencer, and then she was gone. So now, I say I love you as much as I can. It rather annoys my children, and I don't want to annoy you."

He pulled into the parking lot of a large mall and stopped the car. "I love you, Erin. It will never annoy me to hear you say that." She felt hot tears prickle her eyes and dared to look up at him. He was crying again as well, and she scooted over in the seat to hold him tightly to her as they cried.

"My dear, sweet, loving, Abelard, lean on me. I love you." Blindly, she sought his lips out, kissing him sloppily. She could taste their tears on her lips and she held him all the tighter.

"My loving, lovely, Heloise." He rubbed her back in soothing circles. "Thank you." She nodded and they kissed once more. Getting out of the car, they walked into the mall. "Do you want me to come with you, or should we meet at the car in an hour's time?"  
"Come with me, please." She was suddenly anxious to not be alone, and he picked up on her mood, reaching out to take hold of her hand. "I want to head to Bloomingdale's. I'll just need a skirt and three blouses. And some lingerie."

He kissed her temple and they began their shopping. She picked up the blouses that caught his eye, wanting to make him happy in even that small way. Spencer, though, was the one to pick out her bras and panties, choosing tastefully risqué pieces for her. After they'd gotten a few things for him as well, they paid and went back to the car. "And now the hard part."

"I'm right here beside you, Spencer."

"I know, Erin." Stuffing the bags in the trunk, he turned and hugged her. She felt him begin to cry once more and she stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek.

"My brave, handsome, Spencer, how I love you so," she whispered as she let go of him to get in the car. They were quiet the entire drive to the funeral home and she felt his sorrow build and magnify the closer they got.

A kind woman met them in the foyer of the building and had her assistant get the urn for them. "We are so sorry for your loss, Mr. and Mrs. Reid. Have a safe journey home."

They nodded in tandem and Erin took the urn from the assistant's hands. Going back to the car, Spencer said softly, "At least you'll be happy to know, Mom, that we're driving home."

She covered his hand on the steering wheel and squeezed lightly, unable to find words for once. He just lifted her hands to his lips, kissing her palm delicately as they sighed in unison.


	6. The Road Home

After two long days of driving, they had finally put Texas behind them. Erin collapsed on the king size bed, kicking off her pumps. As she watched, Spencer set the urn on the table before joining her on the bed. "I'm so exhausted, Spencer. We might only be able to drive ten hours tomorrow between the two of us."

"That would be fine. I'm exhausted, too. I want to sleep in our own bed." He spooned his body around hers and she snuggled into him. "I never imagined the road home would take so long."

"That's because we're used to flying. I don't even want to get up to eat right now." She turned in his arms and kissed him.

"I'll go grab us something from Wendy's, there was that one that we passed about five miles ago. Do you want a baked potato again?"

"Yeah, and chili if they have any left." He nodded and kissed her once more before getting up. "Hurry back to me." He just smiled at her as he left the room. Dragging her body off the bed, she pulled out her phone charger and plugged it in. She'd barely gotten settled back on the bed when the phone went off. "Hello, Penelope."

"Hey, Erin. Are you guys still on track to come home Thursday?"

"It looks that way."

"The others want to come over Friday and pay their respects. Would you two be up to that?"

Erin thought for a moment and then put Penelope on Facetime. "I don't know. We're both so tired. I'm sure he'd love to have you over, though. What do you think would be best?"

"Oh, honey, if he looks as tired as you, you both need to be taken care of. I'm coming over no matter what on Friday to take care of you, all right? We could order takeout for supper and have the team over for a little bit."

She started to cry and swiped at her tears as she smiled. "Thank you. I think we'd like that a lot."

"If I could hug you, I would right now."

"I know."

"Make sure Reid gives you an extra one, then. I hope you know how much I love you both. Drive safe and come home to us soon." She nodded and Penelope smiled kindly, pressing her fingers to her lips before touching the screen. "We're a family, Erin, and we'll take care of you. I promise. Have a good sleep."

"You, too, Penelope." They ended the call and she set her phone aside and wrapped her arms around her legs as she cried. It was unlike her to be so maudlin and yet her heart hurt so badly for her husband. It was just one more commonality they shared, now, one she wished they didn't.

The lock turned and he entered their room, carrying some bags and a tray of drinks. "They were out of chili, so I got you the macaroni and cheese. I remember that you'd ordered it before." He sat the bags down and looked over at her. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know, Spencer. My heart is so sad today. Penelope called, she's going to come over Friday and take care of us." He tugged her to her feet and wrapped her up in his arms. "I love your hugs. Oh, Spencer, I just feel so overwhelmed and I really want to get drunk right now."

"I'm craving, too, Erin. But we'll get through it together." He kissed her forehead tenderly and wiped away her tears. "Now, let's eat before it gets cold." He led her over to the table and handed her a bag.

They ate quickly and as he cleaned up their trash, she pulled out nightclothes for them both. "Are you going to join me in the shower tonight?" He nodded and she smiled as she began to strip. She'd just gotten her skirt off when he came up to her side, tugging the cotton blouse over her head. She followed suit by unbuttoning his shirt and taking down his pants.

When they were naked, she led him into the bathroom and they stepped into the shower. She shivered as the cold water hit her back and huddled close to Spencer, her arms closing around his waist. Chuckling, he turned their bodies so she faced the stream, his back blocking most of it. "Is there anything I can do to ease the cravings you're having?"

"Just hold me. Please." He nodded as he pulled her flush against his body. With infinite tenderness, they washed the grime of the road from their bodies, standing beneath the water for quite some time. Finally, Erin's teeth began to chatter and they got out. Spencer wrapped one of the towels around her body, using another to dry off her legs and arms.

"I think we're going to forego pajamas tonight, my sweet Heloise. I want to feel your body against mine." She nodded and let the towel drop to the floor. He followed suit and led her out into the bedroom, turning down the covers. She crawled in and snuggled back until their bodies were millimeters apart. "Forever and always," he whispered in her ear as his arm came to rest around her waist.

"I'm sorry?"

"I'll love you forever and always." She felt him kiss her shoulder as she sighed and she turned to face him, wrapping her leg around his as she reached up to run her fingers through his still damp hair.

"Funny, that's just how long I'm going to love you," she whispered. "Thank you for freeing me." She kissed him deeply as her eyes fluttered closed.

She woke up in the morning to the feel of his erection, hard and throbbing, against her thigh. As she kissed him, she slipped her hand between her legs, teasing her clit to ready herself for him. He opened his eyes and grinned at her as he stilled her hand. He rolled her onto her back and fitted himself between her legs.

She drew in a deep breath through her nose as he thrust into her and she wrapped her legs around his waist, drawing him in deeper. "Good morning, Spencer," she gasped out as he lazily thrust in and out of her.

"Good morning, Erin," he replied and they fell into a slow, steady, rhythm. They were covered in a fine sheen of sweat when they finally orgasmed thirty minutes later and he cradled her close to him as they fought to catch their breaths. "Do you think we should shower again?"

She shook her head. "I'm just going to clean up with a washcloth." Gently, she pushed him off her as she sat up and stretched. Leaning over, she kissed him, laughing against his lips as he tugged on her piercing. "I think, even if we just drive eight hours today and eight hours tomorrow, we'll still be home before ten in the evening."

"Do you know how wonderful that sounds?" he asked as she went into the bathroom. Quickly she soaked two washcloths and brought them out to the other one, throwing one to Spencer.

"It sounds like music to my ears." As she cleaned herself up, she smiled at him, watching him copy her movements. "The team is also coming over Friday. Did I tell you that?"

His brow furrowed. "I can't remember. Why are they coming over?"

"To pay their respects. It's going to be our first official together moment. I hope they accept me as your wife." Old fears and insecurities bubbled up in her mind and she turned from him to dig out clothes for the day, quickly dressing.

She felt him come up behind her and wrap his arms around her waist. Erin melted into him, trying to stifle her tears. "Do you know how much I do not care what they think? We are bound together and for the first time in my life I can say that science doesn't always have the answers for the heart."

He turned her to face him and she nuzzled her face into his shirt. "I don't know why I'm so apprehensive. Dave and Penelope have accepted this so quickly. And the Director gave his tacit approval. What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing, Erin. You know, none of my team really made the effort to get to know you before the bank incident. You're unsettled because you don't think the others will approve and you don't want to come between me and my friends. Does that about sum it up?"

Little by little, she felt herself relax, felt the tears fade away. "It does, actually. I'm so glad I married a genius this time around." He laughed, and she loved how it felt, to be in his arms and have that rumble soak into her body.

"I should finish getting dressed now." He let go of her and pulled on his pants. "It's just after eight. Do you want to go out to breakfast?" he asked as he smoothed his hair down.

"Sure."

The hotel that evening had never been a more welcome sight, and Erin once more collapsed on a bed not their own. "I live for the day that matter transporters are fully functional," Spencer muttered as he dropped their bags on the dresser.

"You and me both, beloved. Come, join me." She kicked off her shoes and stretched out on top of the covers. He spooned up tight against her. As soon as his arm was around her waist, she was asleep, safe in his embrace.

He woke her up early the next morning. "Come on, Erin. If we start now, we should be home by three, since we made good time yesterday. Then we could clean up a little before the team comes over tomorrow."

She stretched and blinked her eyes blearily. "What time is it?"

"A little after six." She nodded and got out of bed, padding over to the bathroom to pee. She began to feel a little queasy and took a few deep breaths to will the feeling away. It was familiar to her, and she touched her stomach lightly.

"Spencer? When was my last period?" she called out, thinking back herself.

He joined her in the bathroom and leaned back against the sink. "Seven weeks ago. Are you usually regular?"

"Every five weeks, like clockwork. But sometimes stress throws cycles off, right?" She looked up at him hopefully and he nodded. "Well, that's good, then. Besides, I'm fifty this year. There's no way I could get pregnant."

"Actually…"

Erin stopped his words with her hand. "Until we're home, I need to believe that, okay?" He nodded and kissed her fingers before leading her down to the lobby. As he checked them out, she sat on the bench provided and tried not to fall asleep.

"Why don't you crawl in the back seat and sleep for a bit while I get us underway? I'll wake you for breakfast as close to eight as I can." She didn't argue as he opened the back door for her and she curled up on the seat, resting her head on his duffle bag. She fell back asleep to the soft strains of Schubert.

When Erin woke up, it was to the delicious scent on coffee. Her stomach growled lowly as she sat up and looked at her husband in the rearview mirror. "Did you stop without waking me?"

"No, I needed coffee, so I went to a Starbucks drive through. Here, take a sip." He handed it back to her and she took a sip. "According to the GPS, there's an IHOP about forty five miles from here. Will you feel up to driving for a little bit after we eat?"

"That will be fine, Spencer." She rested her hand on her stomach and stared out the window. "Did you ever want a brother or sister?"

"Yes. I would have loved someone to help me with Mom. It broke my heart, putting her in that sanitarium. She deserved so much better, but there was no way I could take care of her and live my life. Twelve years, she was trapped in there for twelve years. I should have moved her closer to me, once I knew D.C. was going to be my home."

He was crying, and she couldn't do anything about it. "She didn't like flying, and you used that fear to keep her in Las Vegas. It was her home, Spence, and you couldn't take her from that. Just as you couldn't bear to watch her drift further and further away. You are not a bad son, my love." She sat forward and rested her hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. "I love you."

"I have the distinct feeling you are going to keep me sane as I grieve. Do you know why I woke you up early?"

"You were craving." He nodded. "You can't outrun the cravings, though."

"I know, my darling Heloise. But being with you helps." She felt tears prickle her eyes. "You're crying again, too, aren't you?"  
"Yeah. But that's okay." She drew in a deep breath. "I need to be okay with my feelings. Wanting to bury them is what got me into trouble in the first place."

Spencer got off the highway and pulled into the parking lot of the IHOP. Before they went inside, she pulled him into a tight hug. "The hallucinations are so real, so vivid, with Dialudid. I always felt like I was there with her." His words were low and harsh, and she could feel him trembling in her arms.

"Hush, my love. You're safe here with me, and I won't let you succumb. Just keep me from that as well."

"Always, Erin." They headed in and were seated in a secluded booth. "Sit next to me?"

She nodded as she slid in beside him. "I know what I'm getting."

"Belgian waffle and coffee?"  
"Uh huh. The only thing I ever eat on the road. We're making good time."

"Traffic is light today." Their waitress came by and he smiled up at her. "We'd like two Belgian waffles with strawberries and two coffees, please." The woman nodded and made her way to the computer station. Erin touched her stomach lightly and looked over at Spencer. "What's wrong?"

"I'll be right back, Spence." She stood, scanning the room for the restrooms. Finding them, she rushed over and barricaded herself in the handicap stall, sinking to her knees as she bent over the bowl and emptied the contents of her stomach. "This is not morning sickness. This cannot be morning sickness."

Standing, she washed her face and hands as best she could before rejoining Spencer at the table. "Feeling better now?" She nodded, relishing the comforting feel of his arm around her shoulders. As she snuggled into his side, she picked up her cup and took a long drink of her coffee. "Just so you know, I don't have schizophrenia or the gene that causes it. My doctors ruled that out when I was getting treatments for my headaches. And I've always wanted a child."

A pleased smile spread across her face and she covered her stomach with her hand. "What if I'm not pregnant? What if this is just a false alarm?"

"Then we had a false alarm. It isn't imperative that I have a child, it's just a nice thought." He covered her hand with his and she snuggled closer to him as the waitress brought out their food. They ate quickly and Erin paid before following Spencer to the car.

He had folded himself up in the back seat and was already asleep by the time she slid behind the wheel and she drove to the gas station and filled up before getting back on the highway. Her husband didn't wake up until they were within a hundred miles of home. "We're almost there, love."

"Good. Forget cleaning when we get there, I just want to cuddle on the bed and hold you in my arms. Maybe we could watch Star Trek for a while, too."

"Which series?" she asked.

"The best one, of course."

"Ah, good, a marathon of Next Generation."

He reached up and smacked her arm none too gently. "Never speak such blasphemy around me again, wife. Everyone knows that James T Kirk is the best captain of the best Star Trek series."

"That surprises me, husband. I would have thought Jean Luc Picard would appeal to you. He certainly does to me."

"It's the accent, isn't it?" She nodded. "Why do women like accents so?" She shrugged. "I suppose I'll have to live with your bad taste, though. I love you too much to lose you now."

Erin looked at him in the rearview mirror and stuck out her tongue. "We'll have to watch the fourth movie, then, as a compromise. I love _The Voyage Home_.:

"Okay." He bent forward and quickly kissed the spot where he'd hit her. "I hope that doesn't bruise. I'm sorry I hit you so hard."

"It's okay, my Abelard," she replied, "but you might need to pay a penalty when we get home."

"Name it and I shall do it."

She smiled as she merged onto the highway to home. "I want a massage. A no hanky-panky, relaxing, massage. I might even be willing to reciprocate if you do a good enough job."

"I believe that can be arranged. Don't be startled, I'm going to crawl into the front seat." Erin nodded and leaned over against the window to give him more room. With little fuss, he was sitting next to her, holding out his hand. She clasped it tightly, running her thumb over his knuckles.

"So, what do you think about asking Penelope to bring over a pregnancy test with her tomorrow."

"I think it's a good idea. We'll swear her to secrecy, though. I don't think the team will be prepared for two large changes at once."

"Probably a wise decision, Spencer. I'll call her while you set up the DVD player. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Erin shifted her position in the seat to finish driving the road to home, eager to be with her Spencer, her Abelard, her husband.


End file.
